Our team offers eldercare advice based on many years working with numerous clients and families. Today, we share our secret to making eldercare easier for everyone (and life better for your aging loved ones): the schedule.

Why is a schedule so useful for eldercare and well-being for elders?

• Healthy aging means staying active, both physically and mentally. The person’s health situation might place certain limitations on activities, but studies continue to show the importance of active engagement in life for physical and mental health. Exercise and physical activity can stimulate the brain’s ability to maintain old network connections and make new ones vital to healthy cognition and help elders maintain physical functioning and prevent/delay disease. Post-retirement health declines are mitigated when a person stays active, has social support or continues part-time work (or volunteer work).
• Routine creates comfort and stability. We all tend to have preferences for when we like to get up and go to bed and things we like to do throughout the day. Our routines can be comforting and create our sense of home, even when other things change. A routine schedule is especially important for people with dementia or cognitive problems.
• A schedule helps set expectations, especially if you have professional caregivers involved in eldercare. It helps to set expectations of what the “caree” prefers in terms of eating times, wake/sleep times and other daily routines, along with tasks and activities that should be completed. This is one of the great benefits of in-home care versus the group setting of a care facility. An elder can continue to follow whatever routine he/she wishes. Our EasyLiving team uses a unique Life History and Daily Routines Questionnaire to develop a customized home care plan.

Our eldercare experts’ words of wisdom about schedules:

1. Routine activities are the “comfort foods” of our lives. Don’t underestimate the value of these activities to someone. Make sure to let caregivers know about them. Consider important routines in planning activities (there’s nothing worse than planning a big activity when all the other person can think of is missing People’s Court).
2. Of course, meals are the real comfort food of our lives. Don’t underestimate the importance of meals and food traditions. As we age, our appetites and nutrition needs may change, making meals even more important to us physically. Sometimes elders living alone experience loneliness at meal times, which can lead to poor eating habits (eating too little, snacking only on junk food or overeating). Having mealtime companionship and help preparing meals can improve nutrition and reduce loneliness.
3. Channel your inner Cruise Director. Get creative with activity ideas. Your elder “caree” might not be able to do the same things they used to, but there are often ways to modify activities. Take a look around the local community for events, classes and groups. Check the local senior center, but also look at community centers, special interest groups, libraries, theaters and more.
4. Don’t overschedule. This is especially important when you’re a long-distance caregiver making a visit, or when a hired caregiver first starts. You might be tempted to pack in lots of important appointments and make the most of the time, but remember your loved one probably doesn’t function at the same pace you do. It’s also good to allow for unexpected delays and to leave time for talking and relaxing together (and for hired caregivers to build a relationship).
5. For hired caregivers, create a daily schedule and be specific. Schedule tasks, so that you don’t run into the problem of caregivers saying they thought it would be handled on a different day/by someone else. Schedule in tasks and appointments in specific time slots. For activities, you might set aside activity time but leave a few different ideas for what can be done during the time, or make notes about alternatives (for example, an outdoor activity with an indoor option in case it rains). Be as specific as possible and provide guidance.

For more great “insider” tips from our eldercare experts, sign-up with one click for our monthly email newsletter. Contact our eldercare advisor for a free consultation via email or at 727-447-5845.

Image courtesy of arztsamui at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As Mother’s Day approaches, you may have more weighing on your mind than just what gift to get your aging Mom. Perhaps you are worried that Mom or both of your aging parents are not doing well. Maybe you’ve already experienced some crisis and can tell the situation is getting worse. Unfortunately, sometimes when we try to offer help, our aging parents refuse those offers. It is not uncommon to get the response, “We’re fine.” when you know they are not.

What can you do when your aging parents refuse your help?

• Keep an open dialogue. Try not to react with anger and to listen to what Mom is saying (we often work with family members well before we work with the elder, talking to them about their concerns and anxieties and suggesting different approaches). Try to gain an understanding of her perspective and the hidden messages she may not be stating. Remember that change doesn’t usually happen immediately, and this typically needs to be an ongoing conversation.
• Try to find an opening. What does Mom say she would like help with? Is there something you can suggest which would make her life easier but not seem like an admission of problems or loss of independence? Household help, such as light housekeeping and meal preparation, or driving services are two areas where many seniors first accept help.
• Don’t miss out on windows of opportunity. If Mom has a hospitalization, needs surgery or comes down with an illness, bring in “temporary” help (there’s more chance it will turn permanent when Mom becomes comfortable with help and sees the benefits).
• Take a step back and get perspective. It’s your aging Mom and it’s understandably emotional when you’re worried about her. But, often, arguing won’t get you anywhere. Remember that she’s an adult and can make poor or different choices (as long as she’s competent to do so and not putting herself or others in immediate danger). It might help to talk to a professional or get an assessment to determine where things stand from an objective perspective and prioritize needs.
• Learn about resources and where to turn when there is immediate danger. There may be situations where you have to take action, despite Mom’s protests. It’s also good to be prepared for the time when she might accept help. You want things to go well, so do your research about any services she might need. If she is in immediate danger or you feel she is incapable of making decisions, find out about the process you need to follow. For example, in Florida you could contact the Department of Family and Children’s Services for reporting elder abuse/neglect, including self-neglect and there is a Baker Act process for Florida residents who need immediate, involuntary psychiatric evaluation. These are used in worst-case scenarios. Talk to a professional about ideas and resources. We can give you information and refer you to an attorney about the guardianship process, if needed.

For more tips and resources on topics like this, sign up for our monthly newsletter. We’re here to help! Call us at 727-447-5845 with questions.

Working with hundreds of elders and families over the years, we have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. And, while we advise on the best ways to plan for and manage the challenges of aging, we have also learned a lot about the worst ways to handle things. So, here’s our slightly tongue-in-cheek list of things you can do if you want to age “unwisely” (and what to do instead).

1. Don’t think about it. What can you do about it anyway?!?  Unfortunately, this is common, as many of us tend to be in denial about getting older and needing help. Our healthcare system has traditionally been set up to be about illness rather than health and prevention. More people are taking steps to be proactive with their health, but too few people invest the time in planning for their elder years. Fortunately, with a little planning, you can have some control over what happens as you get older. No, you can’t control aging, but you can control a lot about your level of dignity and comfort as you age.

2. Avoid the tough discussions. Death and money are probably the two most taboo subjects in our culture, which explains why so few people talk about them, even with their closest friends and family. Unfortunately, in order to age wisely, you have to break through that barrier and have some basic discussions about these topics. Engage the help of a professional if you need it (a geriatric care manager can help guide the conversation and you can do a family meeting with your financial advisor and estate planning attorney–experienced parties know sensitive ways to handle the conversations and can serve as a buffer for the emotions of those so close to the situation).

3. Follow thy neighbor. Neighbors (both physical neighbors and our “neighbors” in our online community) have all sorts of advice. Unfortunately, well-meaning advice isn’t always right. And, it’s especially not always right for you. Check your facts, especially when you get opinions from the internet. It is great to get ideas from neighbors and trusted friends, but make sure to get more information (and possibly professional advice) before making major decisions.

4. Go it alone. People constantly refer to wanting to “stay independent” and remain in their own homes as they age. We offer a different perspective on aging “interdependently”, in order to maintain your options and stay healthy and happy despite perhaps needing a bit of help in a few areas. Isolation and unnecessary decline are often the costs of stubbornly maintaining absolute independence. When you really want to stay in your own home and maintain some control, a little in-home help is likely the best way to make that happen.

5. Leave it all up to the family.  Yes, of course, eldercare is a deeply personal thing and families handle over 80% of the care needed by older loved ones. However, families don’t need to handle everything alone. Having professional advice and occasional help can make a huge difference. One of the most frequent comments we get at Aging Wisely is, “You allowed me to go back to being daughter/son/wife/husband again.” Our EasyLiving caregivers are often handling tasks such as personal care (bathing, shaving, helping in the bathroom) and household duties, which allow adult children and parents to retain a balanced relationship and spend quality time together.

For help with “aging wisely” and “easy living” in your elder years, contact our team today at 727-447-5845 or complete our request form for a free eldercare consultation!

Aging Wisely Advice: Our Most Popular Blog Posts of 2014

Here’s a wrap-up of our most-read posts in 2014. After many years of blogging, Aging Wisely continues to work hard to bring you both unique content and a focus on the issues that matter most to you. We are always pleased to hear from our readers and would love your feedback (contact us online or leave a comment on our Facebook page) on our aging wisely advice!

Gifts for Seniors: This post wins our award for the most popular topic of all time, proving that gift giving is a tricky business. We’ve put together a practical guide with different categories and specific ideas and we’ve also done a number of follow up posts both here and at EasyLiving on specific gift ideas for seniors and caregivers. Refer back to these posts at the holidays and throughout the year when you need some creative suggestions.

Our Long-Distance Caregiving post discusses what caregivers can do on a visit to out-of-town elder loved ones. We have several great resources on this topic, including our EasyLiving checklist that you can print out before a visit. Give us a call before (or during or after!) a visit to schedule a consultation or even set up a professional assessment to address the concerns you spot (and those our care managers may notice before they become trouble).

We’re thrilled to see What Will Respite Care Cost? among our most popular posts read in 2014. This important topic is essential, as caregivers need to maintain their health and well-being as they care for their aging parents or spouses. Even though the post is no longer brand new, the figures still give you a good estimate of care costs today, along with resources and tips for setting up respite care.

Discharge planning in general is a popular topic that we cover and something that comes up often talking with families. When a loved one is hospitalized, it is an overwhelming experience and many are shocked by the decisions that need to be made quickly and the confusion they feel trying to navigate the system. Discharge Planning: Stroke Care and Rehabilitation offers specific tips and information for families helping a loved one who had suffered a stroke.

For those of you looking for information on other caregiving and aging wisely topics, you might want to start with our Aging Wisely handouts page or our Eldercare Resources page. Both offer a great array of specific information on our most frequently requested topics. For personalized aging wisely advice, don’t forget we offer a complimentary consultation with our Senior Care Consultant to get you the help you need today. Call us at 727-447-5845!

We hope you had a wonderful Memorial Day! As we celebrated the heroes who gave their lives for our country, many of us also celebrated the symbolic start of summer with cookouts, trips to the beach and fun with family and friends. We kick off the summer season here at Aging Wisely with some friendly tips and information for helping the seniors in your life stay safe and healthy (as well as some special advice for caregivers).

Heat-Related Illness and Seniors

Heat affects seniors more than younger counterparts and the effects can be worse based on the individual’s medical conditions and medications. Dehydration is a common problem in the elderly. It is vital the seniors stay well-hydrated and keep cool.

• Caregivers should monitor fluid intake and watch for signs of dehydration. Because an elder may sense thirst less, the “pinch” test (checking the elasticity of the skin) can be useful. Prevention is the best option, though, so if your loved one or client does not like water, make an effort to find hydrating beverages (and foods, like fruits, cucumber, lettuce) that he/she likes.
• Plan indoor activities, especially during the prime heat of the day. Our EasyLiving caregivers offer some great ideas for cool, fun senior-friendly indoor activities here.

Hurricane Season and Home Safety

Throughout this month, we’ve been sharing information on preparing for hurricane season on this blog and our EasyLiving blog. Please make sure your loved one is prepared for the storm season properly. Contact us if you are not sure how to go about that or want help. This is a vital issue since elders suffer injury and death at disproportionate levels during natural disasters.

This is also a good time of year to do a general home safety inspection. Ensure air conditioning units are in good working order and make sure your loved one has fans to help circulate air. Help with yard and home maintenance and of course, the storm readiness of the house. Many elders still attempt to do home repairs that may be more dangerous now (climbing on the roof, being out in the heat doing yard work) so try to be proactive in finding out what is needed. Seniors in Florida also fall victim to frequent home improvement scams, so help be your loved one’s eyes and ears or hire a local elder advocate. Start summer safely with a home assessment and falls prevention review.

Snowbird Migration: Reduced Support Systems

In Florida, many active retirees still go back and forth between two locations and will spend most of the summer up north. Additionally, many neighbors take vacations or travel during the summer months. This often leaves Florida seniors with a reduced support system.

Read more about this phenomenon and our tips/resources to ensure your loved ones or clients have the support they need.

Vacation Issues: Caregiver Respite and Planning a Trip with an Elder

It is vital for caregivers to get a break, but too often the idea is overwhelming. Since summer is a traditional vacation time, it is worth reminding caregivers that there are ways to make respite work well so you can get away and truly relax. This can vary from short breaks where you just take a few hours to do errands or a favorite activity to extended trips. With good preparation, you can get a break and your loved one can be assured excellent care. You can get a care manager involved to oversee the care and act as your liaison while you are gone, providing you the peace of mind to enjoy yourself.

We also help many clients with planning trips for or with their elderly loved one. It is essential to plan the logistics and consider all the little things that can make or break the trip. We can help you think through ways to modify the trip to be more comfortable and safe, so that your good intentions don’t end in a disaster. If your loved one has dementia, the changes in routine can be very upsetting. This does not mean a vacation or trip is not possible; it just takes some planning and modification. Our care managers can help you assess your loved one’s status with an expert view, to know what makes sense and what doesn’t.

Check out some of our Tips for a Smooth Journey with a Senior and keep an eye out for our upcoming features on traveling with a person with Alzheimer’s/dementia.

Stay safe and cool this summer! We’re here to help anytime: contact us online or call 727-447-5845. Our Senior Care Consultant will provide a complimentary consultation and we can assist on any of the issues above, plus tons of resources from our senior care experts.

When it comes to eldercare, the phone becomes your constant companion…from the anxious call you make every week (or day) to your elderly parent to check on how things are going to the panicked calls you receive from Mom or Dad (or from the emergency room). Or, what about the calls from family members to check in on things (or criticize your efforts)? Then, there are all the calls you might make on your loved one’s behalf…calls to agencies to try to get information, calls to doctors offices to try to obtain information, calls to family members to provide information. As a caregiver, you definitely need to have a mobile plan with a lot of minutes!

But, perhaps the most important call is the call for help (this is often many calls…but hint, hint, we’re going to let you in on the secret to cutting down the work). Because caring for your elderly loved ones is such a deeply personal thing, we find many families struggle through all kinds of challenges without reaching out for help. You may not be sure where to turn, may feel it is up to you to handle everything (or have been told by your parents they don’t need help even though you find yourself doing more and more)…or you might just feel too busy to add making a phone call to your to-do list. We’re here to give you some tips on where to go for help and why it’s worth your time (and should be a time-saver).

So, when should you make “the call”? It is preferable to do it before a crisis, when you start to notice changes and concerns in your elder parent (i.e. those phone calls become more frequent) or when issues arise that you are having trouble navigating (e.g. insurance denials, trying to understand eligibility for a program, getting poor information from doctors/providers). Basically, if you are worried or spending a lot of time dealing with caregiving issues, it is worth taking some time to make the call. You can check out our “Warning Signs” handout for some key indicators. If you find yourself already in a crisis, it’s not too late if you know who to call.

Who should you call? Well, obviously we’re biased, but we have good reason to say you should call a geriatric care manager. The reason geriatric care management came in to being was the need for professionals who could serve the comprehensive needs of elder and families…someone who could “bridge the gaps” and help in any setting or aspect of eldercare. There are great resources out there for specific needs: the medical specialist who can help with treatment, the home care provider who can bring in home health aides, the assisted living where Dad could move for care, the disease-specific organization that can provide information on the condition, etc. What a geriatric care manager does for you is bring all of that together so you don’t have to make a million calls (often leading to dead ends).

The care manager offers you expertise in various facets of eldercare and puts that together with your personal situation. This saves you a lot of wasted time and effort going down the wrong paths. The pioneers in care management were social workers and nurses who saw this need time and time again when they worked with families in various settings and knew there had to be a better solution.

What will this call cost me? Generally, you can talk to someone at the company about your needs and concerns as part of the complimentary inquiry process and then you will find out the procedure and costs for proceeding with services. At Aging Wisely, our Senior Care Consultant will provide a complimentary phone or in-home consultation to determine your needs and outline your options.

May is National Geriatric Care Managers Month. Join us in spreading the word about this great resource for family caregivers, so that every family knows the options and where to turn when help is needed.

If you or someone you know needs help, take a few minutes to call us at 727-447-5845.

This client circle of care depicts the care team involved with an elderly or disabled client (also known as “the patient”, “Mom”, “Dad”, “Aunt Betty”, “resident”, “care recipient”). As our founders, Linda Chamberlain and Dr. Kerry Chamberlain, presented on “A Better Approach to Eldercare” at last week’s Aging in America conference, the focus was on how to harness the power of this care team to ensure the approach remains centered on the client.

The first stage in this approach is the beginning conversation. Too often, conversations around eldercare are done within silos and are focused by what the particular specialty wants to cover. Rather than working together (and starting with the client’s priorities), the individual may be blind to what is going on in the client’s life outside his/her office. Unfortunately, this can turn the experts’ best solutions in to failure.

In “A Better Approach to Eldercare”, Linda and Kerry discussed using a comprehensive questionnaire to begin this conversation. This serves to help the client and family gather facts and information that will be needed to make informed decisions and gets information organized to spur the conversation (i.e. bring up “issues”). While a professional may not immediately address all the issues (or ever address them in his/her specialty specifically), having a broad sense of information guides the conversation, helps inform proper recommendations and points to issues that need to be addressed to make the whole puzzle work. It is also vital to understand what the client’s and family’s main concerns are. A good questionnaire and initial meeting help draw out these, often unspoken, concerns.

Some of the top concerns and issues elderly clients might have include:

Some of the common family concerns (besides the major underlying thread, which is usually worry over Mom or Dad’s well-being and a desire to ensure it moving forward) we see in our work include:

Attorney Linda Chamberlain and Dr. Kerry Chamberlain, founders of Aging Wisely, will be presenting this week at the American Society on Aging’s 2014 Aging in America conference. Bringing together their broad experience in eldercare over the past fifteen years running Aging Wisely and EasyLiving along with their specialties of Elder Law and Hematology/Oncology,  Linda and Kerry will discuss “A Better Approach to Eldercare Planning”. Why is this topic so vital?

Tips for Individuals and Caregivers

Make the most of your medical appointments by being prepared. Even if your doctor gives you time and attention, appointments are brief by nature and it can be overwhelming to ensure you cover the pertinent information and absorb what you are being told. Here are some Aging Wisely tips for being a good medical advocate for you or someone you love at those doctor’s appointments:

• Prepare some notes regarding: any recent symptoms or concerns (try to jot down information when you are experiencing issues, i.e. what it feels like, when it happens, what occurs, frequency and when you first noticed it).
• Prepare a list of top questions. Be realistic about what can be covered and if you have more extensive needs, you may want to forewarn the office staff when making the appointment that you have several questions or concerns so they can plan accordingly.
• Feel free to take notes. Tell the doctor (especially if you are the “third party”, not the patient), “I am going to take some notes so that I understand everything you are telling me and can make sure not to forget any of your instructions”. As patient advocates for many years, we can tell you that physicians are understanding and appreciative because they want patients (or those that are assisting the patient) to follow through properly.
• In those notes, indicate any follow up or instructions given so you have a checklist to follow. If anything is not clear, ask for clarification.
• Consider using an organizing system to manage medical records, history and tracking. An electronic/online system offers many advantages in consistency and access (read more in our post about personal health record systems). Aging Wisely uses a system called Caregiver’s Touch for our clients to ensure care continuity, which can be quickly accessed by caregivers online and via a mobile app.

Some other important considerations to ensure the best medical care and continuity for elders or anyone experiencing chronic illness or managing health issues:

• As a patient potentially facing a serious diagnosis, going through major testing or managing multiple or major conditions, always consider having an advocate along with you. It can be very emotional and having someone to focus on the practicalities and to be a sounding board is invaluable. As a family member, it might even help to have someone else along as you may also be too emotional upon hearing a diagnosis or prognosis to manage the questions and advocacy role.
• Review with your attorney to ensure you have the up-to-date legal documents that will allow a trusted person to handle your needs should you no longer be able (Healthcare Surrogate, Living Will and a Durable Power of Attorney for financial/practical matters).
• If you wish for your loved one to be able to get test results and other information to assist you in managing your care, ask the provider what paperwork you need to complete (most now have this built in to patient paperwork with an area you can sign allowing someone to have access and ensuring the office complies with patient privacy laws).
• Learn more about how professional patient advocates can help you and your family. If you are a caregiver at a distance from aging parents/loved ones, get peace of mind by hiring one of our professional geriatric care managers/patient advocates to attend appointments, advocate and communicate to family members.

CONTACT US TODAY to learn more about eldercare advice, patient advocacy and other ways we can help you in Aging Wisely.